We at the Honourable Lead Boiler Suit Company appreciate that,
as suppliers to enthusiasts, most of our customers will already
know one end of a Polyphase Interflange Hygrositer from the
other. However, for the benefit of those with somewhat more to
learn, we take it as our solemn duty to draw your attention to
the following statements of the very, very obvious.
All kits and figures are supplied unpainted and unassembled.
The catalogue illustrations of kits and figures hand
finished by our own highly skilled artists and craftsmen are
purely for the purpose of, well, illustration.
Kits and figures are are not suitable for children under 12,
who shouldn't be developing an unhealthy interest in such
distasteful things as tanks and guns anyway.
Kits and figures may include small parts which may be
sharp. So make sure you've got plenty of plasters handy.
All supplied kits and figures are intended for assembling,
painting, admiring, and moving carefully around wargaming
tables. No other use is intended or condoned for these
products. We accept no responsibility for any possible
misapplication of our products, whether arising from the
fevered ingenuity of sick minds, or just from good old
The kits and figures are really made from
English Pewter and Resin, and not from some of the frankly
bizarre materials that our copy-writing department seem to
Kits and figures should not be eaten. In case this is not
clear, the following excerpt from the Honourable Lead Boiler
Suit Factory Manual For Employees explains this in more
You may not eat a kit or figure, or, through inaction, allow
a kit or figure to be eaten.
You must always do as instructed, except where such
instruction involves the eating of a kit or figure.
You must protect your own existence, as long as such
protection does not involve either failing to do as
instructed, or the eating of a kit or figure.
Yet further details on this matter are available in the
same document under the section "Sacking employees for crass
Once you have read and understood the product information
you will of course wish to
find out how to actually
aquire Honourable Lead Boiler Suit Company merchandise.